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Discipline – Discipline is a term used in S/M and BDSM to describe rules of obedience training, and may also refer to the forms of punishment used to enforce them. A person can not technically be a slave without some form of restriction. They must be given regulations. These may or may not be obeyed, but the rules must be there along with an authority figure to enforce them.
The type of punishment is determined based on the severity of the disobedience and the type of sex play that the bottom enjoys or wants to experience. This is a game designed to create anxiety or fear and transfer it into sexual arousal and passion. The types of punishment are also selected with this in mind. (Many S/M players, however, try to avoid games that cause fear or anger in a partner).
The top or master may imitate anger while disciplining their partner, but will not feel it. S/M play is NOT used to work out the top’s aggression on a victim. The top is, in reality, the servant that does everything in their power to provide the conditions and tactile stimulation needed for the sexual pleasure of the bottom. The severity of any verbal or physical punishment is, or should be, negotiated ahead of time. The bottom also has a safe word they can use to immediately stop the game. (See Negotiation)
Many bottoms use sex play in order to feel secure; they revert back to the relationship role of parent and child. The bottom makes none of their own decisions, regardless of whether they are playing butler, slave, pet dog, or maid.
Other bottoms use these games to build their self esteem. This is done by flawless implementation of strict regulations and complex instructions. They receive gratification form the accomplishment as well as by an immediate reward for their endeavor. This type of bottom is rarely punished or likely to have an orgasm from this encounter.
Light physical punishment, if the bottom wants any time of tactical stimulation, is used with an unlimited amount of threats. Verbal ones that can be enacted. An example would be that of telling a partner they have until the count of five to orgasm and if hey don’t succeed the sex act is discontinued. Threats to throw a person off a cliff are not realistic and would not be perceived as a danger by the bottom.
There are discipline organizations that train servants for dominatrix dominance. Ireland has a club for women that offers Victorian domestic discipline to maids and school girls. CAUTION: People who use humiliation spend a cooling down period at the end. For instance, if one called their partner a slut they compliment them on their fidelity, if hey said their partner was repulsive they give an honest and flattering appraisal of the partner’s value as a person and so forth. The top doesn’t use an insult that comes to close to the truth. (Discipline, by Peter FIiske, QSM lecture, November 15, 1990)
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