How to: Using a vibrator on her:

If you are laying side by side with her (which will be emotionally preferable for some women, at least at first) place it between her labia, over or near the clitoris, with your hand cupped over the vibrator. Start with the speed low so as not to over stimulate her. You can gradually turn the speed up as she approaches orgasm - but be aware that turning it up too fast or too high may be a problem for her. Some women will want full speed well before orgasm, others may never want more than half speed. You can push your hand, and the vibrator, slightly into her and hold, or push and release repeatedly. You can also move your hand very slightly up and down (parallel to her labia), or left and right, or in a small circle. See what she reacts to. Be aware of her body movements, especially any thrusting or other movement of the pelvis. If she has a rhythm going, figure out how to work with it. The movements will likely intensify and speed up as she approaches orgasm, so stay very aware of her body.

You have to figure out what to do as and after she climaxes. Cut back stimulation too soon and you will rob her of the full potential of her orgasm. A small percentage of women get hypersensitive the way most men do - if she is one of these you will need to back off before or as she finishes. Back off by turning the speed down, then off, rather than breaking contact with her body. Be sure to lie still and hold her after she climaxes.



If she can have and wants multiple orgasms, you will need to learn how to make the transition from one to the next. Most likely she will want a reduction of stimulation as she finished each orgasm. If she has never had multiples, but wants to try, a vibrator is a great way to learn - let her guide you by telling you what she needs.





If she has never had multiples, but wants to try, a vibrator is a great way to learn.

The husband can also sit or lie between her legs to pleasure her. This gives him two hands to work with, better access ... and a nice view. Some lubricant is good here, either hers or from a tube. Apply the lube to her clitoris and the surrounding area. Hold the vibrator between thumb and forefinger, or with thumb and two fingers like a fat pencil, so you can use the tip on her. Your other hand can be used to better expose her vulva, or later to add some penetration. The clitoris is very sensitive, so don't start there - start with the outer edge of the outer labia and work in slowly. Again, you want to start with a low speed and increase as she becomes more aroused. Each woman varies - some will be able to take or will want direct stimulation of the clitoris, others will not. The aroused vulva is like a full motion water bed, any vibrations applied to any part will be felt through out. Experiment with her outer labia, her inner labia, and the clitoris. Try up and down strokes and circles of varying size. Try moving down with a firm stroke and up with a light stroke, then try the reverse. If she is too sensitive to take direct stimulation of the clitoris you can do this to one side. Try an upside down "U" - up one side, over the top, and down the other side - then reverse. When she is well aroused, try adding some penetration. Most women have stronger orgasms if the PC muscles have something to "grab," and for some women the difference is significant. Start with one finger, try two or three is she seems to enjoy it. You can try thrusting, but don't get carried away, your fingers are a lot harder, and have less give, than your penis, and you can easily leave her sore. You can also put in one or two fingers palm up (or insert palm down and then turn your hand over) so that your finger tips are on her G-spot. A "come hither" motion will then stimulate the G-spot. If you do this before she is well aroused it will just cause her to feel a need to urinate - if you get her good and aroused and then start gradually you should be able to avoid this. Some women will go wild for this, some will not even feel it, and most will get a slight boost in enjoyment and orgasm out of it. Again, watch for her rhythm and work with it. Be aware of how she responds during climax, and reduce stimulation as needed. When she is done lay beside her and hug ... or make love to her.

 How to: Using a vibrator on him:

While a vibrator is stimulating when used on a man, it's much less so than for a woman. He will probably want a faster speed from the start. A light touch is unlikely to be the best - firmly pressing the vibrator to the penis will be more stimulating. Use a lubricant and focus on the glans, especially the underside. Try moving the vibrator in small circles or in small back and forth strokes. You may or may not be able to cause him to climax with the vibrator alone - if not, try using it as a part of manual or oral play or as foreplay to intercourse.



The other way to use the vibrator for his enjoyment is to have him watch you use it on yourself. Most men find this extremely arousing, and it can also be very instructive for them.

Using a vibrator during intercourse:

You can slip an egg or bullet between your bodies in just about any face to face position. You want it between her outer labia, over the clitoris.

You can slip an egg or bullet between your bodies during intercourse.

In this location the women will feel the vibrator directly, and the man will feel it indirectly. The way the couple moves will change how strongly the vibrator stimulates the women. Adjust the speed to something comfortable for her. You can buy a stretchy ring made for sex this way - the ring goes around the base of the penis, and holds the vibrator in place against the man's body just above the penis.



In a few positions the husband can use the vibrator on his wife's clitoris during intercourse. Most rear entry positions allow this, as well as "spoons" (both on their sides, husband behind wife) and some sitting positions. The husband can use the vibrator as he thrusts, or he can lay still and use it. These techniques may be of use to couples where the woman finds it difficult to orgasm during intercourse, or the man suffers from premature ejaculation.



It is also possible for the woman to use the vibrator on herself in some positions. Some men will be uncomfortable with this, and some women won't want to do it. It's a matter of what the couple finds acceptable and mutually enjoyable.



We've shared some general suggestions about how you might bring a vibrator into play in the bedroom, but please realize that everyone is quite individual in their likes and dislikes. Don't be afraid to do something that doesn't work on your way to finding something that does work. Play and experiment until you find something that you both will enjoy.